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Qantas Airlines Gripe sheet- a must read for techies.


 
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qadhafi
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Joined: 25 Jan 2004
Location: Hippiekickerville, USA

PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2005 10:20 pm    Post subject: Qantas Airlines Gripe sheet- a must read for techies. Reply with quote

Heard about this on the Daily Source Code, thought I would pass it along.

After every flight, Qantas Airlines pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some supposedly actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution as recorded by Qantas maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a major accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget. Finger
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Code3TJ
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Joined: 01 Jan 2004
Location: Uzbekistan

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good stuff. rofl
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WhatWasIThinkin
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Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Location: Epping New Hampsha

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 3:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

rofl
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Drake69
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Joined: 26 Mar 2004
Location: Stormtroopin....

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

eeek eeek eeek eeek

laugh rofl
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